I’m a paranormal fanatic. As in, I’ve been a member of a
paranormal investigation group for the last 10 years. I’m not so much into
aliens, UFO’s, or Bigfoot, but my ears do tend to perk up at the mention of the
words “haunting” or “ghosts”. I’ve been searching the web for some new places
for my group to check out, but everything is starting to sound like a book of
urban legends. I’m beginning to wonder if there are any more genuine, unique
hauntings. Come on! Give me something that’ll throw sticks and gumballs at me!
Maybe a ghost that sings something funny in the dead (no pun intended) of the
night. Or a spirit that appears right before your eyes and stares until you can’t
stand it anymore and have to walk away! I’ve looked at some of these online.
So far, there’s the typical “damsel in
distress on a stormy night” story. She’s tromping along the roadside in the
rain, and some poor hapless fool stops to offer her a ride. Once she gets in
the car and tells him/her where she’s going, they drive to the location, only
to find that once they arrive, she’s disappeared. And amazingly enough, whoever
the person is who answers the door at the location (if said location is still
standing) proceeds to explain that the girl has been dead for years. Cool
story, bro, but I’m gonna need something a little less campfire at
boyscouts-ish.
Next, we have the ever-popular “phantom
lantern” story. This apparently happens a lot in Arkansas, which makes me
wonder if maybe I should carry something a little more creative when I go
somewhere creepy. I can see it now….. ((Ghost hunter)) “They say poor Amber was
walking down this path over here with a chicken leg, and she was mauled to
death by a bear. Some say if you stand right here where it happened, and sing
something by Avenged Sevenfold, a half-eaten chicken leg will appear right
here! With no explanation of how it got there!” See? Sounds way more
interesting than the overused “man was murdered whilst walking along with a
lantern, and now you can see his lantern light floating down the road”.
Onto the next. From what I’ve read, bars and booze tend to
piss off ghosts. I’m seeing at least 3-4 stories where disgruntled spirits will
throw bottles and glasses from the shelves in bars, move the furniture, and
aggravate patrons until they just can’t take it anymore! I can’t really blame
the ghosts; drunk people tend to get on my nerves, too. I can’t honestly say
that I’ve never been tempted to throw a chair or a whiskey bottle at an overly
inebriated goofball who just didn’t know when to stop.
Then, we have hotels! I love
hotels. Almost as much as I love ghost hunting. It would appear that ghosts do
as well. There are tons of stories involving ghosts and some of Arkansas most
prestigious and swanky hotels and resorts. The stories all read about the same:
Apparitions in old-fashioned clothes who disappear, phantom footsteps and
voices, etc. Wow! One story has a little girl in a pink dress, whereas the
other has a large woman in a pink dress (sorry, that made me giggle for some
reason). These ghosts are just not big on boundaries and personal space! There
are plenty of stories of spirits brushing past, poking, pushing, or otherwise
touching the living.
Why on God’s green earth are there so many stories about bridges???
Des Arc Bridge, Mama Lou’s Bridge, Tilly Willy Bridge (heehee), Cotter Bridge, and Bono Bridge. Most of them carry the same
history. A woman scorned by her lover
jumps to her death with her innocent infant child, and now you can hear
crying, screaming, see apparitions of the poor lost souls, and if you go out
there and say whatever it is three times, the ghost will appear and—and what?
Okay. So I’ve made my point. I do
intend to investigate some of these just for the sheer purpose of debunking or
proving them. I hope you don’t take my humor as disrespect or heartlessness
toward the deceased. This entry was solely for comedic purpose.
........I do intend to haunt people with a
half eaten chicken leg when I die, though.
Happy early Halloween, Y’all!
