I love kids. I always have. I don’t have any of my own
(yet), but I’m sure hoping God gives me the opportunity to carry, deliver, and
raise one of my own one of these days. It’s a little hard to imagine a
miniature me, boy or girl, toddling around. Never mind how much of a spaz I’ll
probably be once the teen thing hits. I’m sure Kleenex will make a lot of money
off of my emotional self. I’ve been pregnant once, but miscarried at eight
weeks. Always remember: God has a reason and plan for everything. I had the
pleasure of caring for lots of peoples little ones when I worked at the
daycare. I even had a few favorites, and did some babysitting outside of work!
There was something I saw while working there though that made my heart hurt.
As a parent, you made the choice to conceive this child.
Consciously or not, it was up to you to do what should be done to facilitate or
prevent this child’s existence. In no way, shape, or form is it this little one’s
fault for being here. We took on a lot of kids from child protective services.
Some who seemed just fine; just needed a school to go to during the day. Then
there were the others. A little boy and his baby (less than 3 months old) were
brought to us one day. The older brother was wide-eyed, tearful, and seemed
scared to death. Baby brother had a broken arm, and there was no telling what
big brother had been through. The entire time they were there, big brother
would ask where his little brother was. He ate fine, even if it seemed like he
hadn't eaten in a year, but he always made a happy plate. He’d never sleep at
nap-time. He’d lay there, eyes wide open, looking around, and asking where his
brother was.
With the okay from my boss, between the other teachers and me,
we were able to take turns. One would watch big brother’s class at nap-time,
while I or one of the other teachers would take big brother next door to the
nursery to see that his baby brother was in fact just fine. He’d calm down for
a little bit after that, but give it a couple of hours and he’d begin to get
nervous and start asking for his brother again. He cried when I changed his
diaper. He’d almost beg me, “No, no no.” Like I said, I can’t imagine what this
boy has been through. They were only there a week or so, but I still wonder
what happened to them. I really do hope they’re alright, and being loved as
every child should be.
I don’t think I will ever understand people who have these
blessings and take them for granted. They abandon them, they abuse them, and
they treat them like a burden. This child knows you as mommy or daddy. How can
you not take so much pride in that title? How can you so carelessly toss aside
something that YOU created? Something that not everyone on this earth is able
to create? I was diagnosed with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) when I was
15. My doctors told me that I’d never get pregnant, let alone carry and deliver
a child to term. I know that doctors aren’t always right. The miscarriage broke
my heart at the time, but my faith got me through it. The person I was with
wasn't a good person, and I most likely would've been left to raise the child
alone. That would’ve been fine with me. But I don’t think I could’ve seen my
child disappointed and heartbroken and not put that fool in ICU. Some would see
absolutely nothing wrong with that, but that’s a whole different story!
I've seen the kids that go without things they need because
their parents are so deep in addiction, or because the parents were more
inclined to spend the money on things for themselves. There are the mothers who
refuse to let the fathers see children, but have no problem whatsoever
collecting that child support check every single month. I understand some
situations where keeping the child from a parent might be acceptable, but to
use a child as leverage for your own personal, material gain is disgusting and
selfish. Some women don’t realize how
rare it is in some situations to have a father beg to see his child. To WANT to
spend time with his child. And it’s unfair to your little one to be denied the
opportunity of getting to know their parent when given the chance.
Long story short, love your babies. I know some foster
mothers that I envy, because they have that ability and strength to foster
these little ones, even knowing that they won’t be able to keep them forever.
If you are blessed enough to bring a tiny life into this world, be the kind of
parents God put you on this earth to be.
